thuviaptarth | [Gravitation/Saiyuki] Shuichi&Sanzo cracksnippet for boniblithe (600 words)

He can't figure out how sie did it, but Sanzo is morally certain this is Kanzeon Bosatsu's fault. He recognizes the sense of humor.

"We could keep walking," the pink-haired kid says hopefully. Sanzo doesn't bother to spare him a withering glance. It would be wasted on someone dumber than the kappa and the monkey combined.

"Oy! I *said*--"

"We have already," Sanzo says, with what he feels is commendable patience, "established that walking in any direction will bring us back here fifteen minutes later."

The kid droops. "I want to go home." He is not nearly as good at whining as the monkey, though Sanzo has to admit he manages a better big-eyed piteous expression. "I miss Yuki."

Sanzo has already heard enough about Yuki. They tried quite a few different directions before determining this pocket dimension was fifteen minutes long, and Shuichi had extolled Yuki's virtues at least every other step. They are stuck in fifteen minutes' worth of hell in any direction, fifteen minutes of purple sand ("the color of your eyes," the kid said helpfully, which was the first time Sanzo shot at him), orange-yellow sky, boredom, and bad company. Now it's fifteen minutes of purple sand littered with cigarette butts, and Sanzo grimly contemplates his remaining two packs before he lights up. He should have stolen some of Gojyo's Hi-Lites. Damn kappa can't smoke a brand worth bumming.

The kid slumps into a sprawl that vaguely resembles sitting down. "This doesn't make any sense." Exhaustion is a good look on him; it makes him seem almost capable of putting one thought after another. "I mean, you can't be a hallucination. I haven't been getting sick, and I don't do drugs."

"Ch'." Sanzo seats himself and sheds his top robes, tilting his head up to get a better look at the horizon. Seams, cracks, something he can split-- "As if I'd be a figment of *your* imagination."

The kid's shoulders drop, then he perks up. "Are *you* feverish or doing drugs?"

Sanzo backhands him without looking. "Don't suggest I'd dream up somebody as annoying as you, moron. And stop whimpering."

The kid is rubbing his face. "I just thought we could escape if you woke up," he says sullenly.

"*I* could escape and *you* could stop existing," Sanzo points out.

"Oh. Yeah."

"It's not drugs. It's a gourd, or a demon exercising mind-control, or some other idiotic plot from some other brain-damaged moron who wants to get his hands on my sutra."

"... A *gourd*?"

"Shut. Up."

The kid proves he does have at least one brain cell by obeying. They contemplate the bounds of their nutshell in gloomy silence. It's Kanzeon Bosatsu's fault, the way everything is Kanzeon Bosatsu's fault, for sending him on the damned journey west in the first place. (The Sanbutsin, hell. He knows whose hand is stuck up those bobbing puppet heads.) But that's an unsatisfyingly indirect chain of responsibility. He's sure he can come up with a better reason for strangling the old hag than that. He's lighting another cigarette (can you set celestial robes on fire?) when he notices Shuichi is edging a bit closer.

"What?"

"You remind me of my boyfriend," Shuichi says wistfully, then freezes as the muzzle hits his temple and the safety clicks off. "Or maybe more of my manager," he adds hastily.

Sanzo smacks him one with the paper fan, but not that hard. It's too hot, and he's going to need to do it again before the day's over. There's no point in wasting energy.

It's all Kanzeon Bosatsu's fault. He's *sure* of it.

[Gravitation/Saiyuki] Shuichi&Sanzo cracksnippet for boniblithe (600 words)

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