thuvia ptarth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thuviaptarth) wrote2005-01-01 05:08 pm
thuviaptarth) wrote2005-01-01 05:08 pm
Entry tags:
Yuletide stories
Bake Sale: A Mixed Media Collage (Joan of Arcadia)
For Nina, who wanted Joan/Iris, a bake sale, a kiss, and no mention of Adam. My heartfelt thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
katie_m for speedy, reassuring, and very helpful beta.
The Language of Angels (Angel Sanctuary)
For kuja no miko, who wanted Alexiel/Lucifer. Beta byboniblithe and geekturnedvamp, who also gave me an insanely quick turnaround and assured me I was on no more crack than the fandom required.
And since most of you have never heard of this one, here are some pictures (they read right-to-left): Lucifer and Alexiel 1, 2, and 3; Alexiel solo; Lucifer solo.
If you've started the series, note that these are very spoilery for volumes not yet published by Viz.
I could put up the plot summary I wrote for Boni and Cassandra, although I'm not sure anyone would be interested, and it doesn't convey the full Kaori Yuki experience, which is perhaps best summed up by the mention of the swarm of killer angel embryos that almost destroys the universe in Volume 20.
The Language of Angels - section title sources
Before I forget them entirely:
In the beginning was the word - Okay, I won't forget this one.
The fruit of that forbidden tree - John Milton, Paradise Lost
For those rebellious, here their Prison ordain'd - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Their fruits like honey to the throat, but poison in the blood - Christina Rossetti, "Goblin Market"
Twynned shalbe throughe my mighte the lighte from thesternes - The Chester Cycle, De Creatione Mundi et Adami et Evae, de Euromque Tentatione
Gates of burning Adamant Barr'd over us prohibit all egress - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Else't had been sin and foul to share one beauty to a double soul - John Ford, 'Tis Pity She's A Whore*
They hand in hand with wand'ring steps and slow - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Our soul, whose country's heaven - John Donne, "To Sir Henry Goodyer"**
The fortunate fall - For those of you who didn't take AP English: The doctrine that Original Sin and the expulsion from Eden were good things because they created the opportunity for God's human incarnation as Jesus Christ.
* John Ford: Doing hetcest centuries before it was cool.
** This worked even better when this section was more than two sentences long:
On writing these stories
Right now, I'm feeling cautiously pleased with both stories, and so very grateful to the requestors for giving me the opportunity to write them, not to mentionastolat and tzikeh for putting Yuletide together.
"Bake Sale" was really hard to figure out; at first I thought it would be impossible to pull off. I never saw any chemistry between Joan and Iris and the only thing they seemed to have in common was Adam. My first thought was that I could do a bitter emotional displacement fic where the Joan/Iris interaction was all about Adam but neither one ever mentioned his name--but I didn't want to keep to the letter of a request and ignore the spirit, not for Yuletide. Making the interaction all about Adam was clearly the last thing Nina wanted, and it didn't sound as if bitter and angry was the mood she wanted, either, not to mention that it's not the most appropriate mood for a Joan of Arcadia story.
I forget when I figured out that the bake sale should be one of Iris' art pieces rather than a plotpoint--probably when I was rewatching the episodes for research--but a lot fell into place when I did. I already knew that the dynamic would have to be Iris' unrequited attraction for Joan; I simply couldn't see Joan as anything but very, very straight, but we had a lot less information about Iris. (I am told this view of Joan will change once I finally watch S2.) So I had a take on Iris and a structure for the story and a way to work in a bake sale--but I didn't have an ending, or anything that made this a story rather than a set of loosely related scenes.
So I pulled back and thought about how to make this a Joan of Arcadia story rather a random high school story. Ideally, it would follow the guidelines Barbara Hall established for the show; it would have an appearance by God; and it would have to end hopefully if not happily. I couldn't quite manage the kind of interconnectedness the episodes have--I would have needed a much more heavily plotted story, which I clearly wasn't going to have time to write, because I am the Queen of Procrastination--but Iris had already met a God incarnation and knowing the story needed to end hopefully told me what the story's emotional arc would be--and, not incidentally, turned it from a set of scenes into a story.
The draft I sent to Katie was pretty close to the final version, except that it didn't have Iris' diary, had another section I cut, and the last scene was much shorter and much less fraught. Katie rightfully pointed out that it was odd to write around the kiss and never include it, and that the last scene focused on God rather than on Joan, which didn't fit in with the rest of the story. I remembered that I'd wanted to include a diary section, and used it for the kiss. The ending was the hardest part, and I'm still not quite happy with it. I think it has all the pieces it needs, which the first draft didn't, but ... it's rushed, and the outburst seems more forced than organic, and the realizations are kind of After School Special, and it just doesn't pull everything together the way I wanted it to. And the prose could be neater--if I post it on my site, I will probably at least clean that up. I really wanted to keep the last line--I liked it a lot--and I'm not sure whether I should have. I think the presence of Little Girl God does work better now--I wanted to emphasize that this was a change, that Iris had done something positive and even courageous by coming to the school and talking to Joan, even if it's an action that looks trivial from the outside, and I think it does that; and it does some good things with the communication/miscommunication theme; but I'm not sure how well it fits the rest of the story.
I was also worried that this wasn't going to be happy enough for my recipient, but--well, I have to believe in a pairing to write it, and this was the Joan/Iris I could talk myself into. I did worry about not stretching enough for the challenge, since it's not as if I've never written disconnected sequences about obscure or disliked minor characters before. But the format seemed to make sense for the character, so I did it anyway.
"The Language of Angels" was fun to work on because it was such a contrast to "Bake Sale." I could play around a little with sound and rhythm, but most of the language for "Bake Sale" had to be very plain and very contemporary. I was really delighted to see Angel Sanctuary show up in the pinch-hit list, because Angel Sanctuary? Purple all the way, baby. Practically operatic. I mean, Kaori Yuki's idea of worldbuilding is to throw in whatever constraints can possibly make her characters the most dramatically unhappy and then throw in something more, usually involving the characters' extraordinary beauty and tragic destinies. Besides, Alexiel/Lucifer? Canon. Not my favorite pairing (Kira/Setsuna is my OTP), but I do like it. Swords! Angels! Fallen angels! Starcrossed romance! A cold, powerful woman hiding her deep passions and a proud man utterly shameless in the pursuit of his hopeless unrequited love! A thin line between love and hate!
Why is this not my favorite pairing again? It's like a kinkfest just for me.
So I reread all the Alexiel/Lucifer parts of the manga, and I tried to put together an Alexiel/Lucifer timeline, which was a headache and a half, and I loved loved loved the pairing and I had no plot whatsoever.
Plot was problem number one. Voice was problem number two. It started off as limited-third Lucifer POV, except the first line was clearly omniscient, and could I write everything between the scenes or did I need to recap scenes from the source, which I always hate doing because it's boring boring boring and yes, I was driving myself into a frenzy, when the cold medicine either lifted or kicked in and I had it. Names and power and identity created through desire and naming as a performative act and language as limitation and boundaries between sacred and profane and it was all going to be very sexy, and then ... it just kind of wasn't. You should have seen the version in my head. Really.
I ended up cutting a lot of the Lucifer/Alexiel interaction because I just couldn't handle the vast timespans in the space of the story, and I ended up going back and doing ... worldbuilding, I guess. The first three sections are nothing but exposition; exposition is unfairly maligned in general, but I have to admit three sections before any action may have been a bit too much. And again the last section isn't the grand synthesis of the previous sections that I really wanted it to be. I am afraid I lost too much of the edginess I really like in the Lucifer/Alexiel interaction, too.
What I do like about this story is that I finally managed to write something tolerable in omniscient, even if it does tend toward third-person limited whenever a character is actually on scene. I have been wondering about omniscient for a long, long time, and trying seriously to write it for about a year, and this is the first time I've ever pulled it off.
For Nina, who wanted Joan/Iris, a bake sale, a kiss, and no mention of Adam. My heartfelt thanks to
katie_m for speedy, reassuring, and very helpful beta.The Language of Angels (Angel Sanctuary)
For kuja no miko, who wanted Alexiel/Lucifer. Beta by
boniblithe and geekturnedvamp, who also gave me an insanely quick turnaround and assured me I was on no more crack than the fandom required. And since most of you have never heard of this one, here are some pictures (they read right-to-left): Lucifer and Alexiel 1, 2, and 3; Alexiel solo; Lucifer solo.
If you've started the series, note that these are very spoilery for volumes not yet published by Viz.
I could put up the plot summary I wrote for Boni and Cassandra, although I'm not sure anyone would be interested, and it doesn't convey the full Kaori Yuki experience, which is perhaps best summed up by the mention of the swarm of killer angel embryos that almost destroys the universe in Volume 20.
The Language of Angels - section title sources
Before I forget them entirely:
In the beginning was the word - Okay, I won't forget this one.
The fruit of that forbidden tree - John Milton, Paradise Lost
For those rebellious, here their Prison ordain'd - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Their fruits like honey to the throat, but poison in the blood - Christina Rossetti, "Goblin Market"
Twynned shalbe throughe my mighte the lighte from thesternes - The Chester Cycle, De Creatione Mundi et Adami et Evae, de Euromque Tentatione
Gates of burning Adamant Barr'd over us prohibit all egress - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Else't had been sin and foul to share one beauty to a double soul - John Ford, 'Tis Pity She's A Whore*
They hand in hand with wand'ring steps and slow - John Milton, Paradise Lost
Our soul, whose country's heaven - John Donne, "To Sir Henry Goodyer"**
The fortunate fall - For those of you who didn't take AP English: The doctrine that Original Sin and the expulsion from Eden were good things because they created the opportunity for God's human incarnation as Jesus Christ.
* John Ford: Doing hetcest centuries before it was cool.
** This worked even better when this section was more than two sentences long:
Our soul, whose country's heaven, and God her Father,
Into this world, corruption's sink, is sent;
Yet so much in her travel she doth gather,
That she returns home wiser than she went.
On writing these stories
Right now, I'm feeling cautiously pleased with both stories, and so very grateful to the requestors for giving me the opportunity to write them, not to mention
astolat and tzikeh for putting Yuletide together."Bake Sale" was really hard to figure out; at first I thought it would be impossible to pull off. I never saw any chemistry between Joan and Iris and the only thing they seemed to have in common was Adam. My first thought was that I could do a bitter emotional displacement fic where the Joan/Iris interaction was all about Adam but neither one ever mentioned his name--but I didn't want to keep to the letter of a request and ignore the spirit, not for Yuletide. Making the interaction all about Adam was clearly the last thing Nina wanted, and it didn't sound as if bitter and angry was the mood she wanted, either, not to mention that it's not the most appropriate mood for a Joan of Arcadia story.
I forget when I figured out that the bake sale should be one of Iris' art pieces rather than a plotpoint--probably when I was rewatching the episodes for research--but a lot fell into place when I did. I already knew that the dynamic would have to be Iris' unrequited attraction for Joan; I simply couldn't see Joan as anything but very, very straight, but we had a lot less information about Iris. (I am told this view of Joan will change once I finally watch S2.) So I had a take on Iris and a structure for the story and a way to work in a bake sale--but I didn't have an ending, or anything that made this a story rather than a set of loosely related scenes.
So I pulled back and thought about how to make this a Joan of Arcadia story rather a random high school story. Ideally, it would follow the guidelines Barbara Hall established for the show; it would have an appearance by God; and it would have to end hopefully if not happily. I couldn't quite manage the kind of interconnectedness the episodes have--I would have needed a much more heavily plotted story, which I clearly wasn't going to have time to write, because I am the Queen of Procrastination--but Iris had already met a God incarnation and knowing the story needed to end hopefully told me what the story's emotional arc would be--and, not incidentally, turned it from a set of scenes into a story.
The draft I sent to Katie was pretty close to the final version, except that it didn't have Iris' diary, had another section I cut, and the last scene was much shorter and much less fraught. Katie rightfully pointed out that it was odd to write around the kiss and never include it, and that the last scene focused on God rather than on Joan, which didn't fit in with the rest of the story. I remembered that I'd wanted to include a diary section, and used it for the kiss. The ending was the hardest part, and I'm still not quite happy with it. I think it has all the pieces it needs, which the first draft didn't, but ... it's rushed, and the outburst seems more forced than organic, and the realizations are kind of After School Special, and it just doesn't pull everything together the way I wanted it to. And the prose could be neater--if I post it on my site, I will probably at least clean that up. I really wanted to keep the last line--I liked it a lot--and I'm not sure whether I should have. I think the presence of Little Girl God does work better now--I wanted to emphasize that this was a change, that Iris had done something positive and even courageous by coming to the school and talking to Joan, even if it's an action that looks trivial from the outside, and I think it does that; and it does some good things with the communication/miscommunication theme; but I'm not sure how well it fits the rest of the story.
I was also worried that this wasn't going to be happy enough for my recipient, but--well, I have to believe in a pairing to write it, and this was the Joan/Iris I could talk myself into. I did worry about not stretching enough for the challenge, since it's not as if I've never written disconnected sequences about obscure or disliked minor characters before. But the format seemed to make sense for the character, so I did it anyway.
"The Language of Angels" was fun to work on because it was such a contrast to "Bake Sale." I could play around a little with sound and rhythm, but most of the language for "Bake Sale" had to be very plain and very contemporary. I was really delighted to see Angel Sanctuary show up in the pinch-hit list, because Angel Sanctuary? Purple all the way, baby. Practically operatic. I mean, Kaori Yuki's idea of worldbuilding is to throw in whatever constraints can possibly make her characters the most dramatically unhappy and then throw in something more, usually involving the characters' extraordinary beauty and tragic destinies. Besides, Alexiel/Lucifer? Canon. Not my favorite pairing (Kira/Setsuna is my OTP), but I do like it. Swords! Angels! Fallen angels! Starcrossed romance! A cold, powerful woman hiding her deep passions and a proud man utterly shameless in the pursuit of his hopeless unrequited love! A thin line between love and hate!
Why is this not my favorite pairing again? It's like a kinkfest just for me.
So I reread all the Alexiel/Lucifer parts of the manga, and I tried to put together an Alexiel/Lucifer timeline, which was a headache and a half, and I loved loved loved the pairing and I had no plot whatsoever.
Plot was problem number one. Voice was problem number two. It started off as limited-third Lucifer POV, except the first line was clearly omniscient, and could I write everything between the scenes or did I need to recap scenes from the source, which I always hate doing because it's boring boring boring and yes, I was driving myself into a frenzy, when the cold medicine either lifted or kicked in and I had it. Names and power and identity created through desire and naming as a performative act and language as limitation and boundaries between sacred and profane and it was all going to be very sexy, and then ... it just kind of wasn't. You should have seen the version in my head. Really.
I ended up cutting a lot of the Lucifer/Alexiel interaction because I just couldn't handle the vast timespans in the space of the story, and I ended up going back and doing ... worldbuilding, I guess. The first three sections are nothing but exposition; exposition is unfairly maligned in general, but I have to admit three sections before any action may have been a bit too much. And again the last section isn't the grand synthesis of the previous sections that I really wanted it to be. I am afraid I lost too much of the edginess I really like in the Lucifer/Alexiel interaction, too.
What I do like about this story is that I finally managed to write something tolerable in omniscient, even if it does tend toward third-person limited whenever a character is actually on scene. I have been wondering about omniscient for a long, long time, and trying seriously to write it for about a year, and this is the first time I've ever pulled it off.
no subject
no subject
I do think the line works better now, and probably I'll confine my fiddling to cleaning up the rest of the prose in that section.
no subject
I think so too. I think the final ending was greatly improved--it didn't feel as weirdly truncated as the first version did, and it did feel more like Iris had done something rather than having had something happen to her. (And I'm glad I was able to be helpful. Go me!)
no subject
Now I want to hear the thoughts on the Yuletide process and recs coefficients.
no subject
no subject
I think you might like Angel Sanctuary, actually. A Gothic melodrama about angels, swords, and incest, with art best described as Pre-Raphaelite goes Goth goes manga, will not be to everyone's taste, but you, you might like it.
V.1-5 are out in English. And I have scanlations of the entire series, although the quality of the translation isn't always great. Want some candy, little girl?
no subject
.....Ooooooooooh.
I have scanlations of the entire series, although the quality of the translation isn't always great. Want some candy, little girl?
My, what BIG eyes you have. Sure! "Pre-Raphaelite goes Goth goes manga"....you know how to hook!
no subject
no subject