[Fullmetal Alchemist] Ed ficlet for ranalore

[thuviaptarth]

It's not possible to forget that Edward is small, but Hawkeye has already gotten used to thinking of him as small in a particular way: small like a pit bull, or a bullet, or a gram of ammonium nitrate. That is not the kind of small he looks crumpled unconscious in front of a crying child and a woman's corpse, or dumped in the back of an automobile in a tumble of black and red.

Mustang straightens up, his back still rigid with anger. "Take him back to Tucker's house."

Hughes would cluck his tongue and chide, but Hughes is still poking at the corpse.

"Lieutenant Havoc," Hawkeye says, and climbs into the back and pulls Edward onto her lap. Havoc coughs and "Ahh--"s and fidgets and finally hauls himself behind the wheel to the accompaniment of Mustang very loudly saying not a damn thing. He's gunned the engine twice before the Lieutenant Colonel gets in. Mustang slams the door closed so hard the frame shakes.

It sounds strangely peaceful, the motor's regular growl and the drumming of rain on the windows. Hughes, who has been pestering other new parents for tips, says the wife of a lieutenant in East City claims that when nothing else works, her baby will calm down during a drive. Hawkeye smooths Edward's damp hair and shifts him a little. He is very light except for the automail arm and leg, and very warm except for them, too. He snuggles into her, still unconscious, and curls a cold dense arm around her back. It feels like leaning against a steel bar. It is leaning against a steel bar.

His living fingers tighten on her sleeve. "Mother," he whispers. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry--"

"Shh." She presses her cheek against his head. "You're a good boy, Edward. Go back to sleep."

"He's not a child," Mustang snaps. She doesn't have to look to know that he's still glaring out the window or that he hasn't once looked at Edward since the boy fell down.

They've known each other a long time. He doesn't have to look to know what kind of answer her silence is.

Comments

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like this. Especially this:

>small like a pit bull, or a bullet, or a gram of ammonium nitrate<

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

I took those commas out and put them back in twice, and I'm still not sure they're right. But it sounded better in my head with them in.

I'm glad you like it. Have I mentioned that I think Fullmetal Alchemist makes a good starter anime? ;)

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

I think the commas work better. Of course, I am overfond of punctuation in general. *g*

And hee! You pimp. I've seen two episodes now--I caught one on a few weeks ago where Edward and Al had been in some sort of confrontation/accident in a lab (told through flashback) where they'd seen homonculi. It had left Al sort of blown up and without legs, and Ed was in the hospital. And everyone who visited was saying, "Al? Why are you looking so depressed?" Like the fact that he wasn't propped in the corner of a hospital room unable to move wasn't enough to depress anyone. Only it turned out to be something about memory at the end, and Al's belief that Ed had created/miscreated his. And then he ran away once he had legs again. All very cliffhangery!

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

That is one of my favorite episodes. Oh, the pain!

It is my pimpish duty to inform you that there are two DVDs out, containing about 8 or 9 episodes, and that Adult Swim is going to start rerunning the series from the beginning on Tuesday.

[xsmoonshine.livejournal.com]

Aww. (I'm beginning to feel rather the spammer today, but aww." ^^;

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

There is no spam in feedback! It's nice to hear.

[axiom_of_stripe]

*whimper*

in a good way, but still. ed! hawkeye! *whimper*

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

*evil grin* Oh, I like it when they whimper.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

....

This is absolutely stunning. I love the way Hawkeye sees Ed, the way she understands Roy and her relationship with him. This scene just breaks me whenever I watch it, so I can't begin to describe how pleased I am it's the basis for this piece.

And it's the general stoicism of FMA that gets me, the way they refuse themselves grief and pain and feed it into anger. I love that you captured that too.

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it didn't sound too sentimental.

I wouldn't have said that they refused grief and pain, though. One of the things I like about FMA is the opposite, the way the characters' emotions are so naked. I really love how Ed bursts into tears at the end of the Barry the Chopper episode, the way he just sits down and sobs and says he was afraid. It's such a real reaction, and it's so different from the typical hero "swallow back fear and make jokes about it" cliche. And it's a reminder that he's a child at a time when he's been trying very hard to be an adult, and actually succeeding in it--I mean, sometimes a brash and thoughtless adult, but he is fairly self-reliant and determined and able to direct his own actions.

There's so much in FMA to talk about. I've hardly even started on the various ruminations on what childhood means and what adults' responsibilities to children are.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

That moment at the end of the Barry the Chopper episode was when I fell in love with the show.

I love your ficlet, especially the first and last paragraphs. The imagery is lovely and the emotion is very real.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Not the last paragraphs, I meant the one toward the end where Hawkeye is holding him.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Um, the actual last paragraphs were good too.

PS. Don't you owe me email? I'd really like to see what you've got, or a summary of it.

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

*g* Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

I do owe you, but I still need to finish it up. And I kind of hate it, but I'm forcing myself through the "it's zero draft, it's okay if it sucks" stage.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Shitty first drafts.

Going back to my STETs now-- I can only take so much before my eyes start glazing over and I can't tell what's right any more.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Hmm, perhaps it would have been more accurate for me to say I like how they don't wallow. I do love Yami and Weiss Kreuz dearly, but so many of those characters will brood and angst and agonize if given half a chance. The characters in FMA feel what they feel, and some of them are very upfront about it (especially Ed), but they don't take every opportunity available to dwell on all the myriad ways their lives suck and there's nothing they can do about it.

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

Opening. Ending. Oh.

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[treetelling.livejournal.com]

This is perfect. I just rewatched that episode the other day and wondered who took him back to the house. I like the bit of Hughes trivia and the tactile details. I think I shall now consider this ficlet part of FMA canon, at least in my head. Your other FMA fic in your memories is also very nicely done - may I say without being pushy that I hope you write more, should you feel like it?

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's not pushy at all, although I'm so happy with FMA as is I'm not very likely to write fiction for it.

[oyceter]

Yay, Hawkeye fic!

I must get back to watching more of FMA so I can read everyone's episode commentary!

I love the last exchange between Roy and Hawkeye.

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

:) Thank you!

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Oh, beautiful. I love Hawkeye.

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[maaya1x2.livejournal.com]

Someone linked this story so I had to check it out. Of course I fell in love. Beautifully written, the military staff's reactions and interaction is wonderfully written.

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

*cough* Who linked it?

[team7.livejournal.com]

That would be me in obakesan ^_^; Sorry I'm only commenting just now, but this was really good (also have great love for your Saiyuki/YnM snippets).

[thuviaptarth.livejournal.com]

No apology necessary; I do recs and not feedback a lot of the time myself. I just wanted to know where because I am greedy for praise. :)

And thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

[devils-devotion.livejournal.com]

Here from maaya1x2's ficrecs. ^^ This was a very lovely piece. I like the contrast between Roy and Hawkeye's reactions.

[hagane-no.livejournal.com]

maaya1x2 pimped this, so I read. ;O; That's so sweet, and it looks at the natural mother instinct in Hawkeye. Poor Edward... *wants to stroke his hair too* ;_;

If Ed woke up during this, I could imagine the look of embarrassment on his face xD

Oh, and Roy's just pouting 'cause he's jealous XD!