Notice

[thuviaptarth]

Hey. I'm having a pretty bad post-con crash and dealing with some personal stuff that started coming down over the weekend, so I'll probably be even slower about responding to comments than usual.

I locked the Townhall on Vidding and Visibility notes after posting them because of some concerns about (ha) too much visibility. I'd like to make them public again, but only if the people cited are comfortable with the level of anonymity and the way I've represented them, and it's going to take me a while to check with everybody. In the meantime, kassrachel has a public post here.

I'm going to try to get down panel reports first, because they'll suffer the most from delay and dimming of memory. I wanted to comment on the premieres of non-attending vidders, because they didn't get to judge by applause, "aw"s, or laughter, but my first several comments came out backhanded and/or zombie-like, so that will have to wait. But I recommend people check out aycheb's "Scarlet Ribbons," charmax's "Tanglewood Tree", keewick's "32" and "Sorry", halcyon_shift's "Natural Blues", and cherryice's "Ghosts (4)", all non-Premieres-Show premiering vids by nonattending vidders that are just as strong as the best of Premieres.

harriet_spy has an interesting take on the Vids That Push The Envelope panel, which ... hmm. Her perceptions of the panel don't exactly match mine, and I disagree with several things in the comments. But it's worth reading. I'm not sure it will come out right because of my current zombie-like state, but I don't feel like I'm anxious about changes in vidding as an artform (whereas I am definitely anxious about changes in visibility). I'm excited! I think the potential for new and different vids is awesome. I'm excited by the new kinds of vids I'm seeing, I'm excited by the new vidders I've discovered, I'm excited by having needs met that haven't been fulfilled before, I'm excited by seeing things I hadn't even thought to want before. Some people at the panel spoke of how what they wanted to see as viewers or achieve as vidders had expanded over time, but for me, honestly, I feel less like what I want has changed (that was probably the first two Vividcons I went to) than that what I want is finally happening. cesperanza spoke (at this panel? some other time at the con?) about how, looking at vids, she felt like she was watching TV "as we would make it--and it's better than the way the mainstream makes it," but this was the first year I had a glimpse of that. And that relates, obviously, to the different ways that people define "we," as well as our different wants, and relates to some of the issues I have with cesperanza's own premiere, "Supersmart."

Vidding is so intertwined with slash fandom, and that means different things to hardcore slashers, people who have slash as a sexual identity, people for whom the presence of slash indicates us, and people who enjoy slash sometimes but who don't see it as inextricable with their personal or fannish identity. Maybe I am simplifying? I don't want to misrepresent people. But I think there are a lot of people who see slash on the screen and that makes them basically happy, that makes them feel represented, that fulfills their desires, and I don't just mean their sexual desires. Whereas for me it's not enough for me to see women's art on the screen: I need to see actual women. I need women to be present in the text, as well as reshaping it. I need new stories, or old stories brought out, I need marginalized stories centered, I need the world re-centered on women (white women and women of color) and people of color (women of color and men of color) and queer people and slash stories (which are not the same thing. I think? Maybe? Sometimes?) I need more.

And I'm getting more. This excites me and satisfies me and makes me happy in ways I can't even say.

And some of the more isn't for me, doesn't do what I am interested in doing, but I'm glad that it exists for other people and also I think that it enables some of what I want or don't yet know to want. Creative ferment is exciting, it's the sign of a living, changing artform, it makes me so happy that it's going on.

Comments

[ratcreature]

But not all readers can write stories either. I know I can't. I mean, I actually tried once, to participate more and feel more included. I still remember when I was talking about fanfic preferences once being told to shut up because I wasn't writing any or contributing -- that was during the fun time of the TS fanfic crit flamewars and I had just posted that in general I didn't like the emphasis much fanfic put on the "guide" and invented powers, and the climate then was that even that general opinion without any examples was seen as discouraging, so I got that response to shut up. Anyway, I wanted to be more part of the community and contribute, but my feeble attempt at fanfic was more or less a horrible exposition dump for the cool AU worldbuilding idea I had and I abandoned that quickly.

The problem wasn't the technical, I'm fairly sure that if I had had an actual story to tell, I would have figured out how to make it readable at least, but I don't really imagine stories in my head. So I had this AU idea, and these characters, but I just couldn't figure out how to come up with a plot to make readers want to learn about my worldbuilding efforts. I made all kinds of written and visual documentation, and alternate histories, and fake documents for that AU, and tried and tried to construct something to make it into a story (I even read some creative writing books in my desperation), but I just can't come up with plots.

I can't make vids either, because I have having no aptitude for that kind of visual language either. It would also be a problem that I don't think the programs would run on my old computer, if there are even any that run on linux, so there are additional hurdles compared to me failing at fanfic, but I think it's becoming cheaper and easier than it used to be when video recorders where still super expensive.

I think with the other fannish arts the initial investments are lower, because any fan with access to a computer can produce and post text, and for fanart you need to throw in some art materials (wildly varying in cost) and a scanner, but simple one have become cheaper, and even graphic tablets cost less now than they used to, so it is easier to just try. But you have to have both inspiration and learn difficult things for all of them, especially if you don't want to suck.