Thank you! I'm glad the noir aspect came through, since that's how the manga reads to me.
I feel done with the story, so I'd rather move on to the next thing than do a massive re-write, but if you wouldn't mind advising me on the details, I can certainly fix some of those. I don't want to bother you if you're busy or disinclined! But if you're still interested, I would love to get your advice.
You're right that Milagro wasn't meant to be upper-class. Hmm. I feel like the names themselves are pretty central -- do you think they're just not very likely for Filipino poor? Or does that work with Chabacano? What are endearments a woman might call her best friend from childhood? And is there anything else that strikes you as wrong or as stereotypical?
According to my reference (http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/bisaya.htm), "hiwi" means pervert, though I mostly used it because I liked the way it flowed in the sentence.
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I feel done with the story, so I'd rather move on to the next thing than do a massive re-write, but if you wouldn't mind advising me on the details, I can certainly fix some of those. I don't want to bother you if you're busy or disinclined! But if you're still interested, I would love to get your advice.
You're right that Milagro wasn't meant to be upper-class. Hmm. I feel like the names themselves are pretty central -- do you think they're just not very likely for Filipino poor? Or does that work with Chabacano? What are endearments a woman might call her best friend from childhood? And is there anything else that strikes you as wrong or as stereotypical?
According to my reference (http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/bisaya.htm), "hiwi" means pervert, though I mostly used it because I liked the way it flowed in the sentence.